thebigmirror

My Target for this season complete in 1 session

2006-07-16T22:20:00.000+01:00

Hi Guys
Long time no add, i know!! I have just been to france on a fishing trip and have caught my target fish for this season, my target was to catch 5 * 20lb's in 1 season and i did this in my week long trip to France
Here is a pic of the largest of them!!

So my new targett for this seaon is to catch 1 * 30lb'er!!

Snowboard Trip

2006-04-08T22:16:00.000+01:00

Hi Guys
I Had a great week snowboarding, here are some of the pics.

Hope your all well.

Hi Ya

2006-03-13T00:28:00.000Z

Well hello again, to the blogging world. I guess it's time to share what's on my heart again.

I've had two of the best Sundays I've ever had when I've been away. I've been going to a local church and have been really blessed. A couple named James and Arlene Tate have been really good to me, and have blessed me immensely. Last week they took me out for a Chinese after church, and this week they invited me back to there's for a great lunch.
They have made me feel so welcome, and as close to 'at home' as you can be when your away!!
I just want to say thankyou to them.

James, has a good friend, Phil, who is recovering from a stroke, his right side is paralyzed and needs prayer for healing. He is slowly getting better but if when you read this you could say a 3 sec prayer for Phil that would be great!! He's a really nice guy, and I believe God is going to heal him.

This is what I hope to see if I'm able to go back and see him. (yes an empty wheelchair) I pray that he will be walking around!!

I spoke to the youth pastor of the church today and have been welcomed to go and see their youth program so that will be cool, and a real blessing.

In my head the last 10 days or so I've had the thoughts of church denominations going round and round, and (if I dare say it) the whole time churches are not entwined (Horsham is getting there) and caring for each other as well as themselves then revival will be a hard thing to come to. (if that makes sense)

I want to say hello to everyone back home. Hope your all well. I cant wait until we go skiing, I hope your all ready!! lol

Have a great week.

Brettio

2006-02-18T02:43:00.000Z

Brett, what can I say about this guy?
Well to start he is a real encouragement. He has a great passion for God that is just great to see. He has a wonderful, loving, and giving heart. Brett is a good friend to me, and has a great talent with the youth. His talk 2 weeks ago on coveting was awesome and was a great help to me, it gave me inspiration, and a passion to make mine perfect, because following that wasn't easy!!

It's great when he just pops in to say hi, it/he can really pick my spirits up. And Brett the text messages you send can really help, on more than one occasion I've been having a pants day at work when you send me one, and it makes me think, reminds me why I'm on this earth, and helps picks my spirits up.

What else can I say about Brettio... Keep the faith dude. You are a good friend, and it's awesome to work alongside you. God has got some great plans for you, and you will see great things happen.

Update (at last)

2006-01-24T23:19:00.000Z

Well I'm not sure what to write this post about.
I've just come back from an awsome weekend away for youth leaders. It was just amazing. Some really good seminars that were so inspiring.
The weekend had a downer on it at the end though as 4 of us ending up with a very upset stomach that ment that we got a little low on toilet paper!!!
I've now got a cold, and high temperature, and have been throwing up. I'm waiting for a nurse to phone me back.... it could take up to 3 hours!!
Man I've got to try to improve this it's well lame.

Well a little something about where I'm at at the moment.
Where is God sending me at the moment??
Well i know that my place for the time being is in Horsham
I know that I'm not ment to stay at my current place of work... But i don't know when he's going to call me to leave. It might be 3 months it might be 3 years.
I know that my place is at KCH, and working with the youth.
I know Gods given me a gift of getting alongside people 1 on 1 like.

What i don't know is who God's got lined up for me on a Girlfriend/Wife side of things, or how long I'm going to be waiting for.

(Man my head is throbbing)

Well i need to relax and get some water to dab on my head.
Take care guys.

Last moment gift

2005-12-22T18:09:00.000Z

Last Moment Gift
One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols.This seemed like the perfect gift. "How do I get him to sing?" The young manasked, excitedly."Simply hold a lighted match directly under his feet like this." was the shop owner's reply. Chet began to sing "Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! ..."The shop owner then held another match under the parrot's right foot. Then Chet's tune changed, and the air was filled with "Silent Night, Holy Night..."

The young man was so impressed that he paid the shop-keeper and ran home as quickly as he could with Chet under his arm. When the wife saw her gift she was overwhelmed. "How beautiful!" She exclaimed, "Can he talk?""No," the young man replied, "But he can sing. Let me show you."So the young man whipped out his lighter and placed it under Chet's left foot, as the shop-keeper had shown him, and Chet crooned, "Jingle Bells! The man thenmoved the lighter to Chet's right foot, and out came, "Silent Night. Holy Night..."The wife, her face filled with curiosity, then asked, "What if we hold the lighter between his legs?" The man did not know. "Let's try it." He answered,eager to please his wife.So they held the lighter between Chet's legs. Chet twisted his face, cleared his throat, the little parrot sang out loudly (like it was the performance of his life) "Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire...."

The Silver Ring Thing

2005-11-20T23:34:00.000Z

It's Shocking How little positive stuff there is on the internet on 'The Silver Ring Thing'. It seems to me that people that aren't Christians just can't understand it, so they're mocking it without looking into it deeply

I did a search on google and by typing in 'silverringthing' and selecting uk sites, it failed to bring up the www.silverringthing.org.uk website (on page one) so can I challenge everyone that agrees with the silver ring thing to add a link from their blog, to the www.silverringthing.org.uk website to get their site greater notice and interest!!

The www.silverringthing.org.uk website is relitvely new but is getting underway well, with monthly news letters and looks good, it's a site I plan to try and check quite regually.

And just in case I haven't plugged the site enough it's www.silverringthing.org.uk

(Please note these are my views and not those of anyone from the SRT)

If you hadn't guessed we had the SRT at church today and they were cool, hey if you stumble across this site guys you did really well, talks were great, examples were cool.

I'm not going into it any futher because if you come across my blog and you weren't there you'll have to look at the website, because I won't do it justice.

Check the website out: www.silverringthing.org.uk

More Encounter advertising!!

2005-11-03T23:37:00.000Z

Hey Guys,
Encouter was Great, Jacob If you've gout some pics i would love to put some on here dude!!

You Guys that were there I hope you loved it as much as i did, and for those of you that weren't never mind there's another you can come to on the 3rd Dec!!

Sorry guys i found this pic and it cracked me up so i thought i would share it for all!!

This has been quite Random, Man i will find time soon for another deep blog!! if i'm still capable!!

Dwell will be playing at Encounter again, How awesome!! And Stef Liston will be talking.

It'll be cool to see everyone there!! NO PRESSURE!!

Be there, or miss out

2005-10-26T23:35:00.000+01:00

Hey Guys,

Sorry I've been rather slack lately!! sorry!!

It's late and i need sleep, Just wanted to say:

ENCOUNTER this saturday at Tanbridge, be there, it's a must.

Tickets £1.50 before the day or £3 on the day.

It'll be great.

If you want to know more click here for the website, or visit:

http://www.encounter.kchyouth.org.uk/

If your not there you'll seriously be missing out.
(ENCOUNTER)
(tanbridge school, Horsham)
(Sat 29th Oct)
(doors open at 7pm start 7:30pm)

My thought on friendships

2005-10-03T08:11:00.000+01:00

It seems like a lot of people are doing post on friendships at the mo. Here's my thoughts on the subject, and a 'hello' to some friends i haven't seen for a while
Friends are great but all friendshps have rough periods, fall outs, breakups, and make ups. A great friendship is one where these things happen but you come out on the other side still good friends and smiling!!
As you get older your time becomes more and more sparce, making it harder to find time to fit everyone in!! i've got some really good friends that i haven't seen for a couple of weeks and others that i haven't spoken to for over a month ( man that sounds well bad when I write it) It doesn't mean that i care about them less, it just makes the times when i do get time to see them even more special.
Just to list a few of my friends that i don't get to see as much as i'ld like, and to let you guys know that i'm always here for you.

Shane
Craig
Jeff
Laura
Nat
Chris
Rik
Tom (hey it's been like forever, hope your well)
Joy (hope Baby Mc is doing good)
Dean
Simon
And of cause Big Dave!! Hi Mate, haven't forgotten about you, i will reply to your e-mail soon!!

Hey anyone else i've missed off the list, I'm sorry, but hey i still Luv ya, and give me a call or just leave a comment!!
I wish i could spend every minute of everyday with my friends but unfortunately that's just not possible.
There is however one friend that i do get to spend as much time as i like with, and thats coz he's always with me, and will never desert me. No matter what i do he still loves me and will always be by my side. Guessed who it is yet? Yep well done, Hi God, just a quick hello Just wanna say that i love you.
Well that's all for me on this post.
Take care guys.

Girls

2005-09-22T23:52:00.000+01:00

I'm officially saying that girls suck!! They screw with your mind!! how nice would it be to know what they thought, when to avoid them, when to help them, and when to turn and run with all body parts still attached!!

This would be even better!!

If anyone can help me with my little prob then please do, i'll be supprised though as i'm not going to tell you what it is, apart from i'm going mad!!

Well i think i've been criptic enough.

Hey how bad is it when you try to work out when you can see your parents and between you and them the earliest you can go and see them is 9 days away, and it's only a 25min drive!!

Well i'm going to bed, i've had enough for today.

Peace Out

The contest(part 2)

2005-09-08T22:52:00.000+01:00

Make Love Not War

" An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Monte Casino went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said, "Father, during World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the enemy. So I hid her in my attic."
The priest replied, "That was a wonderful thing you did, my son! And you have no need to confess that." "It's worse than that, father. She started to repay me with sexual favors."
The priest said, "By doing that, you were both in great danger. However, two people under those circumstances can be very tempted to act that way. But if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven."
"Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. But I do have one more question ."
"And what is that?" asked the priest.
"Should I tell her the war is over?"

Tales From The Shire

" Two hobbits walk into a bar where one of them picks up a barfly. They tak her to ta local motel; the first hobbit goes into the motel room while the other waits outside. Once the door closes, the hobbit on the outside hears strange noises through the door, "I can't do it, I can't do it, I CAN'T DO IT!"
In the morning, the second hobbit askes the first, "How did it go?" The first one answers. "It was embarrassing. I simply couldn''t do it."
The second hobbit shook his head. "Manhood problems, eh?"
"No. I couldnt get on the bed!"

Engineering In Hell

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place."
So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After awhile, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

Heading for Trouble

A guy and his son go into a bar. The son is a miracle of nature and is just a head. The man asks the bartender for two shots. The man takes one shot and gives the other one to his son. The son swallows down the drink and out pops an arm.
The man thought, "Hey this is good."
So he asks for two more shots. He drinks one and gives the other to his son again, and out pops another arm.
The man the asks for a double and gives it to his son. The son throws it down and suddenly explodes.
The bartender looks over at the man and says, "Looks like he should have quit while he was ahead."

(

5 0 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator

2005-09-04T21:28:00.000+01:00

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your tissue to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of ''It''s a Small World'' incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, crash from side to side as if you''re on rough seas.
7. Shave. (Especially if you''re a woman.)
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask: "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you, "Admiral".
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I''ve got new socks on!"
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now. Damn motion sickness!"
19. Give religious literature to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say, "oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing, "Mary Had a Little Lamb," while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler, "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, "You''re one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say "Mmmm...tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and make it talk to the other passengers.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say, "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say, "I wonder what all these do," and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space".
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it''s getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler, "Bad touch!"

Hi guys if any of you want to try these out, then please let me know how you got on!!

IS LIFE RANDOM?

2005-08-22T23:54:00.000+01:00

I haven't had anything on my heart to Blog about recently until i did i search on google for 'random' it was at this point i had the thought How random is life?
from this iasked my self;
1} is life random?
2 } Questions that challenge you, are they from God, or just from that person?
3 } How would my life be different if i had tried at school?
4 } If i did would this be me?

But to be honest I no matter what choices i make i beleive God knew them before I was born, he knows me and loves me. He has a plan for me. I think this is quite comforting (even if a little scary!!)
Well what do you guys think? Do you beleive that everything has been worked out for you? That God has a wonderful plan for you? and any of the questions above!!

Nice and simple

2005-08-04T08:02:00.000+01:00

Check this

link out,

NOW

LoL

Trip to lake Tahoe

2005-07-31T16:53:00.000+01:00

Hi guys, just thought that you might like to see some pics from my trip to lake Tahoe.

After a tough climb up a steep sky slope this veiw was worth it. (and we only got half way up)

From the beach on the lake a veiw back to the snow topped mountains

Another veiw of the mountains (were currenlt already 6500ft above sea level)

The veiw from the top of a water fall.

The waterfall (after climbing downfrom the top)

Another from the top of it.

The contest, which do you find the funniest? (part 1)

2005-07-25T05:26:00.000+01:00

Due to Military Cutbacks we need you to take up a new position as our Wing Gunman.

Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?""I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our guests.""I don't mean that," the priest responded. "I mean, are you prepared spiritually?""Oh, sure," came the reply. "I've got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey."

Please tell me that this doesn't mean that I'll have to do all those things i promised!

Please Rate in your own funny way which of the above you find funniest.

My feelings about Church, in reply to Toby's last Blog.

2005-07-21T08:45:00.000+01:00

This might make even more sense if you read Toby's last post first.

The one point we're missing here is, not the church, it's God.
Ok I agree the church aint perfect, i haven't been to one where they do take young people serious enough, but why is that?
Could it be because most of the youth only have one thing in their mind? What would we prefer to see, and forget what the older generation feel.
The one thing we should be more focused on is God. The whole time we are more worried about what is going on around us, than we are with what God wants us to do, who's going to take us seriously? we should lead by example, listen to what others in the church are saying and actually discuss it in a sensible way, really listen to what they have to say and consider it. Remember, the church isn't just for us youth, the church has to be there for the older generation, a lot of which (I would bet) like it the way it is. I'm not saying that things shouldn't change, but just that the change has to be done right and be for God, and not just because we (the youth) would prefer it that way.

I beleive that God is doing miraculous works through the Youth, but don't let this cloud our judgement, God is for everyone, from baby, to the OAP's. Don't forget we all belong to only one God. And he is the one we should be focused on, listen to what he says, read between the lines. Not what the Devil is whispering in your ear.

Toby, I didn't hear what Gary Jenkins was saying about muslims, but maybe he was trying o emphasize that we shouldn't just be focused on turning non believers but people that believe in other religions require saving as well. (like i said i wasn't there, i don't know, but read between the lines)

This post was inspired by Toby's last ever post (i hope not) sorry to see you leave the Blogging world Toby.

This is just my view. I'm not after any arguements, but feel free to leave your opinions.

How the events of 2000 years ago have affected modern day Technology.

2005-07-21T06:35:00.000+01:00

I've decided to try to teach you all about Engineering and the problems faced by and to designing!!

Engineering history lesson
It's not very often that we ask why things are the way
they are but here's an answer for you, The US standard railroad gauge
(distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That is an
exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way
they built them in England, and the US railroads were built by English
expatriates. Why did the English build them that way? Because the first
rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad
tramways, and that's the gauge they used. Why did "they" use that
gauge?

Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools
that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing. So
why did the wagons have that particular odd spacing? Well, if they
tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of
the old, long distance roads in England, because that was the spacing of
the wheel ruts. So who built those old rutted roads? The first long
distance roads in England were built by Imperial Rome for their legions.
The roads have been used ever since. And the ruts in the roads? The ruts
in the roads, which everyone had to match for fear of destroying their
wagon wheels, were first formed by Roman war chariots. Since the chariots
were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter
of wheel spacing. The US standard railroad gauge of 4 feet-8.5 inches
derives from the original specification for an Imperial Roman war
chariot. Specifications and bureaucracies live forever. So the next time
you are handed a specification and wonder what horse's arse came up
with it, you may be exactly right, because the Imperial Roman war chariots
were made just wide enough to accommodate the back end of two war
horses. Thus we have the answer to the original question. Now for the
twist to the story. When we see a space shuttle sitting on it's
launching pad, there are two booster rockets attached to the side of the
main fuel tank.

These are solid rocket boosters, or SRB's. The SRB's are
made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the
SRB's might have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRB's had
to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad
line from the factory had to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The
tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track
is about as wide as two horses' rumps. So, a major design feature of
what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system has
determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's arse!
Don't you just love engineering?

Monkeys

2005-07-18T06:13:00.000+01:00

I like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents apiece. I thought this was odd since they are normally a couple thousand apiece. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I bought 200 of them.
I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one of them drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded.
In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in the genitals. I laughed.
They punched me in the genitals. I stopped laughing.
When I got home, I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech and hurl themselves off the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.
Two hours after that, I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sort of dropped dead. Kind of like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Crappy cheap monkeys.
I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room; on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.
I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and one hundred ninety-nine dead, dry monkeys. I tried to pretend that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is, until they began to decompose. It started to smell really bad.
I had to pee, but there was a dead monkey in my toilet and I didn't want to call a plumber. I was embarrassed. I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately, there was only enough room for two at a time, so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't go bad.
I tried to burn them, but little did I know, my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire. Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and one hundred ninety-seven dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed, and the odor wasn't improving.
I became agitated at my inability to dispose of the dead monkeys and I really had to use the bathroom. So I went and severely beat one of the monkeys. I felt better.
I tried throwing them away, but the garbage man said that the city was not allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him I had a wet one. He couldn't take it either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.
I finally arrived at a solution: I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't quite know what to say. They pretended to like them, but I know they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.
I like monkeys.

BAD DAY AT THE OFFICE

2005-07-17T03:51:00.000+01:00

Man today has been a real bad day at work.
It's days like today that make me feel like looking for a new job.
Nothing major happened it was just everything got to me today, people, people, oh and people.
But then i flick though the internet and realise it could be worse

Or like this

the worst thing about being away is that when things or people get to you all you want is some space, or to shout, but no your in a customer building so you have to behave. You want to get away but you can't because you have to share a car so u can't leave. You want to burn it up the motorway (interstate) but you can't because they're in the car!! You want to get away from it all and spend an evening (or better still a weekend) at the lake fishing

But you can't cause the lake is over the sea and you don't have your gear with you.

It's times like this that i remember why i used to smoke!! the feeling of releif after you had finished the smoke, oh man that felt good.

But then i think of how much better i feel now that i don't. Why can't i have both? Health, and feelings of great releif.

To Be fair i do love how i feel after i have talked to people about God or helped someone through a tough patch. That's a far greater sense of inner peace than i could ever get through other means.
All in all, I love God, I hate Work.

Sorry this has been a tad bit deeper than normal but i had to get it off my chest somehow!!

And if you ever need cheering up the just read Alex's latest post!! (story time) they're always a laugh.

My Hotel room, How boring?

2005-07-14T19:49:00.000+01:00

This is my hotel room Please Rate how boring it is

The over veiw

The Bathroom (notice how small the bath is!!)

The washing Area

The living Space

The Bed

The Kitchen (still with last nights tea!!)

1. is very boring up to 10. as the Pent House!!

Please remember i have to live in this 'Space' for 5 weeks!!

Qualifying

2005-07-05T22:01:00.000+01:00

.... Now qualifying was going to be a 20min period flat out as many laps as possible. It was decided that as I hadn't raced for a while that I should start the qualifying session, race 10laps then swap with Mike for him to go out with a, hopeful, clearer track to lay down a good time.
As I walked down the pit lane double checking that I had everything tightened and in place, looking for my kart, I got up to 3/4 the way up the track and saw my kart #78 at the front of the pack. Great I thought a nice clear track, this was going to be great; now there were three lanes of karts, mine was at the front of the 'fuel' lane. There was a line to my left in the 'pit' lane and another to my right on the edge of the track. My only concern was that the gap onto the track was going to be tight for two cars to exit at the same time, but that wasn't going to be a problem surely they would let us go intertwined, one then the other.
No the starter was stood there, he has the flag in hand and comes and stands in front of my kart and waves the group to my left in the pit lane to exit and start their qualifying. Damn it that was just over a third the cars in front of me, he steps to one side and waves me out, Yes this was it my time had come, I was out, let the racing begin.
The first lap was slow, I didn't want to push it and spin instantly with cold tryes. The first corner complex, two right hand 90deg corners can be taken at about 3/4 speed but I was a little over cautious. Suddenly without warning, the first two cars fly past me on the inside, woo they were flying already, that was it I put my foot down and I had to keep them insight, it was my only hope of getting to grips with the track as quick as I needed to to actually get a respectable qualifying time.

It didn't quite go to plan, the third corner was the first hairpin, I over cooked it slightly and with little warmth in the tryes I was on the grass verge, and bouncing all over the place, I kept the kart under control and swung it back on to the track but as this leads straight into another hairpin I was well off the racing line so had to take it slowly, they were now round the next bend, not totally out of sight but as this is the fastest part iof the track they were a good 3 seconds ahead. I floored the throttle and raced down the hill, left, right, left close to top speed now, that's almost 80mph, time to ease the brakes on and take the right hander nicerly to set me up for another tight right the first goes well but the second I miss judge the apex and that's it I'm on the left hand side of the track, in all the muck and rubber that's been left on the track from the previous race. The next combination is a left right leading back into the start finish straight. This goes well I pull the kart back over to the racing line and punch the throttle, I feel like I'm flying down the home straight now, across the line, damn that was a slow lap, 65.43, man I need to improve that, I feel like I nail the first 2 corners, only to be overtaken coming out of them, "man this can't be happening to me", "I'm going to get this sucker" flying down to the hairpin, I tell myself make sure you nail this one this time Tim, whatever you do don't overcook it again. I get cleanly round not at full race speed but I keep on his tail, he's not getting away from me, the second hairpin, I get my nose level with the rear of his kart, but I have to yield, it isn't safe to try to go two abreast down the fastest part of the course, each of the next 3 corners are taken without easing off the accelerator and all the kerbs are used, now the right I messed up last time, remember the apex is blind coming into this corner, it's the last part of the bend. Yes I hit it well and he is now along side me, I have the racing line but he has the inside of the next bend and there's no way he's going to hold it from that angle, I ease back just enough to watch him loose it coming out the exit of the bend, yes I back infront, the line comes up, that had to be better.
My second lap was a 54.35 that put me up into 18th but it was no where near going to be enough only a handful of the cars out there would be racing at full speed yet and I thought ai had just put in a very quick lap. Oh how mistaken I was.My tenth lap came up and I had got my best lap time down to a 52.62, it was going really well I had nailed the corners and felt like it was by far my best lap yet, but what to do, I was supposed to be pitting at the end of this lap, so it was going to be pointless, oh well, maybe I can't count, yes that was it a mix up I thought they meant 10 laps not including the pit lap, yes that would work. The rest of the lap went well and I came home with a 51.39, wow I had just shaved a second of my lap. It wasn't till I got back to the stands that I realised that I was still going slow!! I didn't know my lap times at this stage but I looked up at the board and saw them, along with our current qualifying position, 19th how could I be 19th that was an amazing lap, I couldn't do better then that. Help I was in trouble, this was out of my league.

Pole place ended up being 48.42 almost 3seconds quicker then my lap time, and Mike had some kart trouble so my lap time was our qualifying time, that placed us in 32nd place, only 3rd from the back. Oh well I thought at least we're not last!! We had agreed before qualifying that the fastest qualifying lap driver would start the race, so due to Mikes bad fortune that would be me.
We lined up on the starting grid. 32nd, oh well we had 2hours to fix that, I didn't have to do it all straight away. A faultless drive would be enough to gain a few places surely.
The lights went red, just a couple of seconds now and we would be racing proper. 3....2....1....Green, RACE ON..

Guest Blog By The Guru (Sam Burrows)

2005-07-02T00:38:00.000+01:00

Yeah, believe it or not, Tim asked me to write a blog post on ‘Slow Ass Drivers’. Which is fair enough really. I mean they annoy anyone with a set course and a desired to time to get there. I was a slow driver once. Only once. It was in my first driving test. I was so slow and precautious that I got a few black marks and didn’t pass.

Come to think about it, I think I’m the only person I know of that has had the finger pointed at them in their driving test for being over precautious. I actually think he just didn’t like me. Actually, let’s just stop talking about this, whenever I talk about that test I wanna cry and start to shake…

I think it’s pretty out of order that Tim would even want me to comment about slow drivers. Y’see there’s two ends of the spectrum. Slow and fast. Sorry if that concept is too hard to grasp for some of you (particularly if you’re South African). One end of the spectrum, the slow one – is reserved for old people, and people who own metros. The other fast end – is owned by Tim himself.

Tim is a safe driver, but he pays no attention to the speed limit. The only thing I can think about while sitting I the passenger seat of Tim’s Astra is ‘Holy moly, if a little kid suddenly rushed out of nowhere chasing a football, they would have no chance.’

In fact, he nearly killed a group of us the other weekend overtaking 6 cars at 80mph, on a one lane highway with a group of cars rapidly approaching at a head on direction. I think I may have let out a little bit of wee wee, but definitely whimpered.

I actually contemplated the fact I might have passed thought to the great pie in the sky.

So when Tim talks about ‘Slow Ass Drivers’ he’s talking about everyone else.

He’s talking about you.

Sam

My unexpected phone call

2005-06-23T23:18:00.000+01:00

It was a hot Saturday morning after a long sticky night, I was sitting beside the lake, calm and relaxed enjoying a few rays. The fish were feeding well and I couldn't take my eyes off the rods for fear of missing a bite.
I felt this soft vibrating on the chair and reality snapped back, my phone was ringing, I rested the rod back onto the rest and answered the call.
It was my old mate Mike, he was due to be racing in a championship go-karting race but his team mate had dropped out, and he was asking me (of all people) to take his place. This was my chance, I knew some of the top racers would be there, I could finally have my one shot at a professional racing career, if I could just do my best and get spotted I would be there.
I packed my fishing equipment up instantly, set off for home to get showered and changed before rushing down to Buckmore Park kart track for my big chance.
I was feeling quite tired by the time I left home on the way to the track, I hadn't slept well the night before due to the heat and new that if I could just get there a little early I would be able to get some rest before qualifying. I set off at 3pm and new that, if I had a good run, I would be there by 4. We weren't due for registration until 4:30 so I should have plenty of time. The journey went well and without any problems, I was driving though the gates to Buckmore by 3:55 and parked by 4.
I made my way around the edge of the circuit until I came to the main building, I opened the doors and it hit me, this was it no turning back now, it was now or never, my only chance.
I found a seat and ordered a hot dog, I hadn't eaten all day, as a quick fix. I could hardly keep my eyes open.
I found my self staring at the picture of the race circuit, all 1200m of it.

The weather was still hot the tarmac on the course was even hotter. When I had got out the car the temp gauge was reading 29.5'C, it was going to be a long sticky day.
Mike turned up at around 4:35 and he gave me the run down, basically we had a safety briefing at 5:15 then qualifying was a 20min period starting at 6 and the race, a 2 hour endurance race, starting at 6:30
This was good, it meant I had 40 mins now for some shut eye, I departed and made my way round behind the building and sat at the base of a large oak relaxed in the shade.
I woke with a start and looked around, where was everyone? I looked at the watch 5:17, darn it late for the safety meeting, I jumped up and ran back round the building, up the stairs and joined the back end of the que into the conference room, few.
The briefing was pretty straight forward the karts in use for today were the 'thunderkarts'.

I hadn't raced these before, they are quicker and have a better acceleration compared to the 'prokarts' I've been used to. These new karts have a top speed somewhere in the region of 80mph, and believe me that's scary when your backside is only inches of the floor. The only other thing to come out of the meeting were that they were going to be tougher on contact this race, with more severe penalties, the rest was as per normal race conditions. We had been allotted kart # 78 and had just 5 mins before qualifying started
Now quickly into race cloths, there were only 3 of us left that weren't in race gear, and of to the pit lane for the start of qualifying........

Swearing!!

2005-06-14T23:45:00.000+01:00

Swearing,
1) What is swearing? (I don't want the various words so please don't start a list)

2) What makes a swear word?

3)a) Is swearing ok?
b) If so when / where is it ok?
c) If swearing isn't ok, what makes saying words like 'pigs', 'rats', 'flip' acceptable? (they're not being used in the correct context either!!)

4) Why has the word 'bitch' become acceptable now, where 10 years ago it was a swear word?

This is a subject I've been having problems with, as to why it's supposed to be 'bad'. Please help

Oh and by Swearing, I'm not meaning blasphemy just your common swear words.

If you've never posted comments then please feel free anyone's opinion on this is more than welcome (just please leave a name!!)

Here's a question for you all

2005-06-10T12:12:00.000+01:00

Is it possible to have the word 'and' written 5 times consecutively in a sentence and for it to make sense and be correct to the English language. Hey if you say yes I need examples!!
Have fun now!!

What book R U?

2005-05-21T02:27:00.000+01:00

Hi Guys
I found this on another blog (they were Romans) but it's quite good check it out. The link at the bottom
And everyone that knows me, is this acurate?

You are Ephesians.

Which book of the Bible are you?

It would have been easier to keep my mouth shut!!

2005-05-15T04:35:00.000+01:00

Hi Everyone
I've been in California now for 5 days, and I'm enjoying it on the whole. A few of us went out for a few beers downtown last night. It started of a little quiet but started getting busy about 10ish I guess I won't get into the story about the two lesbians at the bar, but later on the guys I was with started saying how I should be up chatting up all the women and that I had nothing to lose. I let the conversation die out by not talking about it. A short while later I went to the loo and when I came back they where talking bout the fact that they would be up chatting to the women...... So this time I had to say something (as they were talking bout me) so I told them how I real feel about it and the truth... I had to tell them that I wasn't interested in one night stands... I said how I when I looked at the women (and yes some of them were hot!!) that I wasn't thinking about sex, (I was actually thinking about someone else and how I would rather be just talking to them then be with all the women in the place)
I tell you, the way they were looking at me I might well have just told them that I was really a gay alien!! I would hasten a guess that they thought that I was mad.. or had no p?n%*.
Well I think you can guess what they must have thought!!
Anyway, I'm actually not working tomorrow but I'll be sleeping most of the morning.
Tim

Last post from the UK for a while

2005-05-09T00:44:00.000+01:00

Hi Guys

Well I'm off to the states in 6 hours and the first question that comes to mind is 'am I ready?
Well I still haven't finished packing and it's 1 in the morning!! I'm waiting for the tumble dryer to finish and that's not going to be for another 45mins at least!! Arrrrgggghhhhh
In some ways I can't wait to get there just to get away, but in others ever since I started going to Kings church I feel like I'm leaving so much behind every time I go away!! Before it was easy, I couldn't wait to go, but now I don't know, I guess I feel that my place is here (that's really quite mad because I hated Horsham a couple of years ago and wanted to get away).
Well that's enough of the deep stuff.

Guy's there's one thing that God forgot to provide us with,
and it's this:

How great would it be to have this remote? Wouldn't it be great to pause, fast fwd all those arguments, and lectures!!
Well take care and my next Blog entry will be from California!!

Is Beer good ;) or bad :( ?

2005-05-05T22:44:00.000+01:00

The following has come from my copy of 'The Sun' (a daily newspaper in the uk)

The average pint contains 20% of the daily recommended dose of fibre, which helps lower cholesterol. It's also packed with B-group vitamins. There are only around 200 calories in a pint, less than in a jacket potato

Scientists in Finland found that men drinking a bottle of beer a day cut their risk of getting kidney stones by 40%. They think this is because beer contains diuretics, which help flush out the kidneys.

Beer is rich in vitamin B6, which stops build-up of homocysteine, a chemical linked to increased risk of heart attacks. Ethanol, the alcohol in beer, olso helps by thinning blood and by boosting levels of the "happy" HDL cholesterol.

A Dutch study of the over 50's found people who had 1 to 3 small beers a day had a 42% lower risk of dementia than tee-totallers. But the risk rises again if you're a heavy boozer.

Darker ales in particular contain antioxidants that halve the risk of catcracts, an age related eye problem, according to the University of Western Ontario.

Moderate beer consumption protects the body fromHelicobacter pylori, a bacterium which causes stomach ulcers and is associated with cancer of the stomach.

Beer is naturally rich in silicon, a mineral that helps strengthen bones and protects against the brittle bone condition osteoporosis. The silicon comes from grains used in brewing and is readily absorbed by the body.

A study of 5000 British men found that those a couple of pints a day significantly reduced their risk of developing type 2 diabetes.

(one for the women)
Beers contain polyphenols, which cut levels of "lousy" LDL cholesterol. Scientists in Portugal discovered that one found only in beer was the most effective at combating breast cancer - so take the missus along for a pint as well.

I Can now offically say that i drink for medical reasons!!

pop quiz # 2

2005-04-26T23:36:00.000+01:00

I've given u guys a lot more this time but i suspect that u haven't heard this before, so who is it and waht album and the song title?

Pop Quiz

2005-04-26T17:01:00.000+01:00

Who knows where this music comes from and the band?
I'll give you a clue, it's not English, American, or Australian .

With an election coming up very soon it's time to decide who to vote for.

2005-04-25T18:54:00.000+01:00

Now with the election drawing ever closer i want to tackle the important issue of GINGERS!!
I'm not sure where they originated from but it's time to eradicate them from society, so if you agree please look at the following ad:

If you don't agree then i'm sorry if this has upset you but for the rest of us this is a serious topic so go away and leave my site alone :)

Fishing

2005-04-23T13:17:00.000+01:00

Hi Guys,
I feel that I maybe should go into some more detail about my fishing and try to explain what the items are/do.
I'm a carp fisherman, and the main tactic that is used is called ledgering, this is basically putting a large lead (weight) on the end of your line near your hook and casting it out into the lake. You then put your rod onto a rod pod,

tighten the line up, through the bite alarm,

and wait for the carp to take your bait, which is indicated by the bobbin and the alarm. Simple really!!

The Wonders of Technology

2005-04-20T23:42:00.000+01:00

The one thing on this earth that really gets on my nerves is Technology.....
....Why?..... Because of a few reasons that are all closely related.

1) Why does Technology always have to interupt the important items:
E.G tonight at cell group just after we started praying my lovely car alarm decided that it was going to go off. Why couldn't it have happened during the social chat we were having before or after?

2) Why do computers always die or crash just when you've finished typing something (really long) and haven't saved it for a while? It never happens just after a save does it.

3) When somethings not working as it should, why is it the dumbest guy you have ever met comes along and says ' oh look it's that' and it's something so stupid and simple it just makes you look so dumb for not noticing it because it's been staring at you in the face all day long.

Well i guess i'll have to face it, technology's out there to frustrate me but no matter what i can't live without it

Spelling test

2005-04-20T07:27:00.000+01:00

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulacity uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to rsceearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lterter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig eh? And i awlyas tohghut slpeling was ipmorantt..! And for toshe of you wtih mroe tmie tahn ohrets you wlli ntocie taht not olny are msot of the wrosd a mses but smoe of tehm are cpmlpoetley msis seplt awslel....!

Kermit's back trouble

2005-04-20T01:19:00.000+01:00

Kermit went to the Docs one day complaining of back problems.
The Doc sugested an X-Ray and told Kermit to come back 1 week later.

I week later the doc reveled this:

Sam vs Tim

2005-04-20T01:17:00.000+01:00

Sam vs Tim

Tim says:
hello
Sam says:
yellow
Tim says:
bellow
Sam says:
fellow
Tim says:
tellow
Sam says:
feeling mellow
Tim says:
ahhh.........brains gone dead
Sam says:
yusss I win
Tim says:
this time!!
Sam says:
we'll meet again young skywalker!
Tim says:
ahh, if I'm skywalker it's inevitable that I win
Sam says:
*Sam pulls out lightsaber* psssssshhhhhh!!!!
Tim says:
*Tim returns gesture* pssssshhhhhh, and strikes low on the right side psshhhhhhhh
Sam says:
'arrrrrrghhhhhhh!' screams Sam and finds a random carrot on the ground. He thrusts it into tims eye
Tim says:
'owwwww' bellows Tim. 'if you want to fight dirty then dirty it shall be', as Tim pulls out a potato and throws it at Sam, it's heading straight towards his chin
Sam says:
Sam screams as the flying spud hurtles towards him. With speed it gets lodged in sams mouth. 'Mffmmmm mmmmrrrmmmm mfffff grrrrrrfffmmmmm!!!' Sam says and proceeds to pull tims hair
Tim says:
with crys of mmfffmmmmm mmmmrrrmmm coming from Sam he continues to pull on tims very short hair!! Tim can't seem to wriggle free and soon the two aare rolling around on the floor (like a couple of girls)Tim manages to pull the random carrot out of his eye where it had got lodged and thrust it deep into sams ear.
Sam says:
'YOWEEEEEEEEEEEE! I should've known you'd do that, you treacherous swine!' yells Sam in agony, 'That was the only left ear I ever had! Now look what you've done!' immediately Sam's clothes rip open, and there, now standing before Tim was Sam, as the incredible hulk (except blue)
Tim says:
Tim jumps backward in shock (how did he get that spud out of his mouth to talk) Tim not sure if his bad eye is playing tricks on him, picks up his light saber and charges the blue mass that has engulfed Sam, as he gets closer he realizes that it's not engulfed Sam.....It is Sam. Tim turns to hide, but it's too late. Sam lunges an arm towards Tim and sends him flying backwards against the wall. tim's only hope now lies with his secret weapon. A YELLOW BANANA, as he pulls it out of his pocket Tim begins to laugh. Could this be the end?
Sam says:
'I am all powerful!' proclaims Sam 'For I am the Incredibly Blue Hulk!' With too much confidence Sam struts towards Tim heavily (as hulks do) and suddenly realizes he's allergic to potatoes (of which he had swallowed it whole before, explaining the absence of potato in his mouth) suddenly Sam is struck with severe indigestion and falls to his knees. But what's this? Tim is pulling something yellow from his pocket! Tim must know Sam's weakness his blue brain cannot handle the colour yellow!
Tim says:
Tim is shocked at the sight, How could Sam possibly know tims secret weapon he's been manufacturing this in secret for years. The yellow Banana bomb's secrets could not have been leaked could they. Sam continues to fall to his knees with an almighty thud. Tim is left pondering, maybe I don't need to test the prototype out just yet the sight of it alone is doing the job. Tim stands up with an ever growing sense of achievement the banana bombs presence alone is enough 2 have the almighty ever fearful world renown blue hulk falling to his knees. As Tim steps towards Sam holding the yellow banana in sams eye line, Sam whimpers even more.
Sam says:
foe Sam, it looks like there is no way out! He not only as chronic stomach pains, but has yellow on his brain! What's a hulk to do? And the enemy is drawing closer! But this, ladies and gentlemen, is where all things work for good. The stomach cramps get so bad that Sam cannot hold it in anymore. Sam releases projectile vomit across the room at the speed of a fire hose, plastering Tim to the brick wall behind him.
Tim says:
nooooooo screams timTim says:could things all have come down to this, the vomit has turned to cement, the only thing of Tim still showing are his eyes, and his left hand still clutching the banana. the rest of his body is completely covered in potato vomit growing ever harder. What is the glorious Tim to do? Hulk seems to be trying to stand, but is seeming to have difficulty and covering his eyes. the carrot is still lodged in his ear. As the vomit hardens around Tim he has an ingenious idea. If he can set the banana bomb of at the lowest setting it might free him from the vowl stench that is sams puke.
Sam says:
meanwhile, Sam is growing weaker, the yellow of the banana is draining his strength. At last Sam is turning back into his normal 5 ft7 self and loses his hulk strength. But Tim his still trapped. Realizing Tim is obviously plotting something, Sam realizes he must strike now if he is to win. So Sam runs forward...
Tim says:
Tim looks around, where has the hulk gone.... Sudenly out of no where the short funny looking character that is Sam appears. For Tim this is now or never he manages to peel back the smallest amount of the banana skin. now all he has to do is drop it by his feet. There, 4.....3......2.....Tim says:what's this?Sam is brandishing his light sauber, within striking distance, there's only one hope left ' Sam I know the good is in you. I can feel it.' Tim says. 'help me and I can save you'
Sam says:
Sam is deeply moved by tim's words. Somebody has actually seen that he is worth something. He puts down his light saber and falls to tim's feet
Tim says:
'noooooo' Tim screams 'run away, quickly take cover'
Sam says:
'I can never leave you Tim!' Sam protests. Sam fails to notice the continual ticking beside him...
Tim says:
' you have to take cover now or we'll both die.' In an almighty act of strength and ingenious courage Tim manages to release a leg and kick Sam away just before 'BOOOMMMMM' the banana bomb explodes
Sam says:
There is silence as the smoke clears. Sam wonders what just happened. They both are in the same places. In his effort to kick Sam, Tim had actually kicked the banana bomb away, saving them both. Sam realizes that Tim was actually trying to kill him the whole time with the banana bomb. So he kicks Tim in the balls and runs away
Tim says:
Tim is left rolling in pain. he gets to his feet to run after Sam to explain, but it's no good. he falls back to the floor due to the heavy burning on his leg from the bomb as he broke his leg free, and the pain that was sams foot. Ahh well at least he has been the first that has come up against the hulk and lived to talk about it, and he knows that there is good in him, just have to continue to find him once again. but first, I promised Yoda that I would return to complete my training.
Sam says:
THE END

2005-04-20T01:15:00.000+01:00

me doing 1 of my 2 fav past times

This is me

2005-04-20T01:12:00.000+01:00

Hello Everyone
My Names Tim and after much grief from Sam Burrows I'm starting my own blog!!!
Give me time and I hope to get 1/2 way to Sammy boy's standards!!!!
Well About me, I'm 23 my names Tim and you'll find out anything else that's relevant in future posts.

How did I come up with 'thebigmirror' well I'm a fisherman and my goal this year is a thirty pound mirror carp (or common, I'm not fussy) as well as 5*20lb carp. Sounds easy I know but I've only caught one 20 up till now so I'll have to put some effort in. Sorry if this is boring as it will be for some of you but hey, I don't care!!